As most of you that follow my main blog and Instagram page know, I wrote a book called Witchcraft Therapy which is coming out in just a couple of months! May 4th is when it’s released in retailers, however, it’s available for presale now, which is actually a fantastic way to help support this book (and me!). Pre-order on Amazon here or Barnes and Noble here!
To honor the whole “OMFG I CAN’T WAIT” vibe that I’ve been carting around waiting to get this in your hot little hands, here is an excerpt of an entry from the “Conjuring Confidence” chapter. I love you guys so much and am SO grateful for your support.
Excerpted from Witchcraft Therapy by Mandi Em. Copyright © 2021 by Amanda MacLean. Used by permission of the publisher. All rights reserved.
Recognize You’re Resilient AF: Reflecting on All the Shit You’ve Been Through
Feeling uncomfortable things is never fun, but for those who’ve experienced trauma or other deep-cutting pain it can become a very real part of your everyday emotional experience. Wake up. Brush teeth. Sob into the void…
Although we’d all love to be made of rubber band stuff that allows us to bounce back from difficult shit without a second thought, the truth is we are deeply emotional creatures with memory foam spirits that can have us carrying our bad experiences for ages. Now, it’s normal to have the urge to flee from the emotional swamps formed when bad experiences press craters into our psyches that we fill with tears. However, there’s something quite freeing about the ability to visit those dark places while still keeping your spirit high.
Viewing the hard stuff from your past through a resilience lens can help you appreciate how those experiences formed you, without denying that they sucked. Although it can be challenging to think back on hard times and past traumas, to do so is to see your strength, and to honor the foundation that you’ve built. What’s done is done, and although the pain may linger, you can choose to keep your eyes forward without having to ignore the past.
Part of why it’s difficult to reflect on and appreciate the past is that it can feel like you are somehow excusing those painful experiences. Your inherent sense of justice as a human being can have you stuck on the idea that if you move on, you’re letting go of what you’re “owed” from those past events—an apology, karma, legal restitution. But the truth is that justice doesn’t always come, and you can waste a lifetime hanging around waiting for it.
Instead, the wise thing to do is to realize that yes, those things happened, and no, they were not okay. You can give yourself permission to move forward by acknowledging the wounds you have and choosing to focus on how those experiences changed you for better and for worse.
All of our lives are peppered with moments that changed us forever. Those things together have woven the unique tapestries of our lives, and to honor those experiences by building your resilience is to move forward without bypassing the past. Rather than allowing yourself to get roadblocked by past traumas, simply acknowledge them for what they were: a series of transformative events that shaped you into the person you are today. Despite the negativity that they may have brought you, you do have the power to transmute that energy into strength for the future. And that can be accomplished by honoring that those things shaped you rather than running from them.
In the thick of hard times, take a moment to look back on what you’ve already been through and how you’ve managed to come out the other side, rebirthed into a person who’s overcome so damn much, and has the strength to handle much more. All those things that happened, and yet, you’re still here! Your past traumas don’t need to weigh you down. Instead, they can show you just how high you can fly even after being shot down time and time again. You are strong and resilient. A survivor. A champion. Even when you don’t feel it, your past paints this picture.
A Reflection Ladder
For this exercise, you’ll need:
• 3 long pieces of string or ribbon the same length as yourself
• A handful of small “charms” you would like to weave into the ribbons/strings (crystals, twigs, flowers, beads, etc.)*
1. Cleanse your chosen items and ground yourself.
2. Tie your three ribbons/strings together at one end with a loop. As you tie, affirm to yourself that even though this will be an emotional experience, you are strong and safe.
3. Start braiding your ribbons/strings together in plait, breathing deeply and thinking about everything you’ve been through.
4. For each of the truly formative experiences in your life that have weighed on you, braid a charm of your choosing into the ribbons/strings to represent it. Begin with the earliest moments and work your way to the present.
5. As you braid each charm in, breathe in deeply and allow yourself to feel the things that this experience made you feel. Then, exhale and affirm to yourself that this thing is over, and merely a seed that helped you grow into who you are now.
6. Tie the ends of the ribbons/strings into the top loop of the braid to make a circle.
7. Meditate with your braided circle and think of how far you’ve come, giving yourself mad props for being a survivor.
8. Hang the braid somewhere visible as a testament to what a resilient badass you are.
*These should be objects that you feel “called” to.
Thanks again for all the support, preorder links to all retailers can be found HERE!